Overcoming Mother's Guilt

This is a universal “mom problem” that millions of women feel every day. Mothers are torn between time at work, time with their children, time with their spouses/partners, and time with their friends/family. Not to mention, many mothers are in desperate need of “alone time” but cannot bear the thought of taking that time away from their children and family responsibilities, just to use it on them!  The important thing to remember about guilt is that it is a normal feeling, and it is an indicator that women have a desire to be good mothers. However, over extending yourself to care for others can lead to depression and anxiety. Anxiety produces feelings of fear, worry, and dread; depression produces feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and unworthiness.

How do you determine when it’s time to seek help? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1)      Have you started neglecting your own health (i.e. skipping workouts, developing poor eating and sleep habits?)

2)      Are your feelings of anxiety/depression interfering with your marriage?

3)      Are you unable to focus at work because you are worried about all the things you “should” be doing with your kids?

4)      Have you eliminated a social life with friends/peers?

5)      Are you overindulging your children with activities, food, etc.?

6)      Do you worry about disappointing your spouse/partner, your family, your kids?

Feelings of guilt are tied to unhealthy messages and false thinking patterns that can make the situation worse. “My kids won’t like me.” “My kids will fail.” “No one can care for my children other than me.” “I need to be there to prevent any problems.”

Therapy can help. Together we can explore your thoughts, values and beliefs that keep you running ragged, trying to reach an unattainable goal.  Motherhood is in a continual state of transition and as children grow, mothers can do the same. Children admire mothers who can teach them the value of self care and model independence and freedom.

If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety and/or depression due to mother’s guilt, call for an appointment today.